I recently read a book (Girl, Wash Your Face) where the author had a strong media presence, and felt it was especially important that her readers know she wasn't as put to together as she appeared on social media. She wanted to strengthen women, break through the veil of thinking they should have it all together, despite how this author appeared to on her blog. I liked that.
If you don't see me on a regular basis in person, or don't have a chance to talk to me outside of social media often, it isn't uncommon for someone to make the statement that I can "do it all" or "have it all together". (Those who know me well are laughing, because they know what I mess I can be in reality).
I must say, I love my life. I love the woman, mother and wife I have become. Everyone has hard times, faults and failures. I had to fail at a LOT of things to get me where I am today. Here are a few things you may not have known about me, that at the time...were some pretty earth shattering things that I had to overcome. A lot of them were blessings in disguise.
Law School: I didn't get into all of the law schools I applied to. My top school rejected me, and thinking back...I'm so glad it did because I would have left with 10x the debt I actually left law school with. It would have changed my career path, my life, and likely would have put a lot more stress on my marriage. Also, I started in the MBA program in law school and dropped out 2 weeks into my first class. I didn't just drop the class, I dropped out of the entire program because I couldn't take the added stress right then. Looking back, it was really a God thing. I learned so much more rejoining the MBA program once I had been in the workforce longer, and took the opportunity for my employer to contribute towards tuition costs.
In high school, I felt I failed at a lot of things: I didn't get into the coveted academic decathlon because they determined I wasn't smart enough. I cried a lot when I found out I barely missed the testing requirement to be in the highest level math program. I received a D in calculus my Junior year of high school and thought that was the end of the world. I quit every single instrument and sport my parents ever enrolled me in...and even with many many years of piano couldn't play if I tried.
In undegrad I missed the ACT requirement to join the honors program at school...after taking the ACT 5 times. I also dropped out of a Jane Austen class right before a final and took an incomplete because I felt overwhelmed with school. I switched majors 3 times, with the final switch happening halfway through an intro to engineering class where I literally got up and walked out of the class because I had no earthly idea what was going on.
I wasn't just imperfect the last 10 years...I'm still imperfect now.
Personally, I have always struggled with weight problems. Overeating is a huge struggle in my life. I also deal with a lot of issues connecting with other people. It is a constant struggle for me to build and keep friendships, I don't naturally relate to others and find tasks are much easier to accomplish rather than this concept of building a relationship. I have to really push myself to be there for my daughter, husband and family physically and emotionally. I love them both so much, but "time" is not my love language. (my parents always said they struggled with knowing what my love language is...my sister would say it is because I'm not very loving...) I'm a natural workaholic.
I tend to think about money almost to the point of obsession. It truly is a fascination of mine, how certain people and generation handle money. There is no money topic I find taboo with a stranger, family, or friend. It also means I constantly (multiple times a day) check our bank account. It became a sense of security for me when we were paying off our student loans, and continues to be the case today. There are good and bad things about it, as I find personal finance a fascinating topic (hence our blog!) but also means I obsess over little changes in our spending and even though I'm 30, I think "but will I have enough to retire?" as if it is coming up tomorrow. That also means I struggle as a Christian with faith, as I believe in the power of hard work. We have been blessed by God so tremendously, but a part of me will always struggle with "Well, I worked hard, and I made that happen for us" rather than attributing God's hand in all aspects of my life.
So to those who think I have it "all-together"... I don't. I'm just like anyone else that plays the "social media game" of putting up the best times, and not always posting about the bad times!
I must say, I love my life. I love the woman, mother and wife I have become. Everyone has hard times, faults and failures. I had to fail at a LOT of things to get me where I am today. Here are a few things you may not have known about me, that at the time...were some pretty earth shattering things that I had to overcome. A lot of them were blessings in disguise.
Law School: I didn't get into all of the law schools I applied to. My top school rejected me, and thinking back...I'm so glad it did because I would have left with 10x the debt I actually left law school with. It would have changed my career path, my life, and likely would have put a lot more stress on my marriage. Also, I started in the MBA program in law school and dropped out 2 weeks into my first class. I didn't just drop the class, I dropped out of the entire program because I couldn't take the added stress right then. Looking back, it was really a God thing. I learned so much more rejoining the MBA program once I had been in the workforce longer, and took the opportunity for my employer to contribute towards tuition costs.
In high school, I felt I failed at a lot of things: I didn't get into the coveted academic decathlon because they determined I wasn't smart enough. I cried a lot when I found out I barely missed the testing requirement to be in the highest level math program. I received a D in calculus my Junior year of high school and thought that was the end of the world. I quit every single instrument and sport my parents ever enrolled me in...and even with many many years of piano couldn't play if I tried.
In undegrad I missed the ACT requirement to join the honors program at school...after taking the ACT 5 times. I also dropped out of a Jane Austen class right before a final and took an incomplete because I felt overwhelmed with school. I switched majors 3 times, with the final switch happening halfway through an intro to engineering class where I literally got up and walked out of the class because I had no earthly idea what was going on.
I wasn't just imperfect the last 10 years...I'm still imperfect now.
Personally, I have always struggled with weight problems. Overeating is a huge struggle in my life. I also deal with a lot of issues connecting with other people. It is a constant struggle for me to build and keep friendships, I don't naturally relate to others and find tasks are much easier to accomplish rather than this concept of building a relationship. I have to really push myself to be there for my daughter, husband and family physically and emotionally. I love them both so much, but "time" is not my love language. (my parents always said they struggled with knowing what my love language is...my sister would say it is because I'm not very loving...) I'm a natural workaholic.
I tend to think about money almost to the point of obsession. It truly is a fascination of mine, how certain people and generation handle money. There is no money topic I find taboo with a stranger, family, or friend. It also means I constantly (multiple times a day) check our bank account. It became a sense of security for me when we were paying off our student loans, and continues to be the case today. There are good and bad things about it, as I find personal finance a fascinating topic (hence our blog!) but also means I obsess over little changes in our spending and even though I'm 30, I think "but will I have enough to retire?" as if it is coming up tomorrow. That also means I struggle as a Christian with faith, as I believe in the power of hard work. We have been blessed by God so tremendously, but a part of me will always struggle with "Well, I worked hard, and I made that happen for us" rather than attributing God's hand in all aspects of my life.So to those who think I have it "all-together"... I don't. I'm just like anyone else that plays the "social media game" of putting up the best times, and not always posting about the bad times!
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