...why my wedding ring still doesn't fit and other fun facts about life 3 months postpartum
I decided if I wrote a book right now, the above would be the title.
When you're pregnant you dream (extremely vivid dreams since those are the only kind you have when you're pregnant) of the glory days that will come after you deliver the babe living inside of your abdomen. You remember the variety of clothes you used to be able to wear that have been shoved in the back of your closet, the little hop to your step when you weren't lugging around another human being (you refuse to admit much of the weight is that extra box of girl scout cookies you justified gobbling down for the sake of needing to give nutrients to that growing baby) and the the days when people used to say "hey you look awesome" rather than "gosh you're huge!"
Well, I'm here to tell you...life doesn't change quite as much as you think after that little bundle arrives...or at least if it does change, it changes at the slowest pace possible...so keep dreaming, because that's the only way you're going to be wearing your wedding ring again.
Here I am, almost 3 months postpartum and although there has been progress on getting my wedding ring to fit (a week after Lorelai arrived, my ring could get down to my first first knuckle) we clearly still have a ways to go. Take a look at that finger muffin top that is squeezing out from the sides of my band. I had to take my ring off around 25 weeks pregnant...and sadly it will still be off for many more months.
I remember how people told me that if you nurse, the pounds will just MELT away. LIES...all of you. They forget to mention how hungry you are all the time those first 3 months (my hunger is finally subsiding), so when you're out with your family at a fast food joint, you sheepishly have to order another side because if you don't you're pretty sure you will waste away to nothing (even though the scale tells you you're still plenty far away from your pre-pregnancy weight). Also, when you are finally able to start dieting, they forget to mention you must be very careful because if you lose more than a pound a week...your body decides that rather than eating the fat stored up around your mid-section...it's going to suck your milk dry and your baby will starve.
Perhaps it is just me, but I also have a terrible sense of size right now. I don't feel so much huger than I was pre-pregnancy, but if the scale didn't convince me, then trying to put on pre-pregnancy winter coat would certainly start to make me wonder what size I really am. Going to the store, I still grab my typical "medium" shirt...until I am sorely convinced in the dressing room that an XL is more fitting for my body type right now, in part to hide the flabby belly that has been left behind by that screaming bundle of joy who has magically zapped away my ability to have a good night's sleep.
Back to nursing, there is so much more than just getting a grasp on nursing. Once you think you've got it...your child may decide to go on a 3 day nursing strike out of the blue. I mean, I'd been feeding her all day and then in the evening she screamed like she was dying when I tried to nurse her. It lasted for 3 days. Oh, and since your child is growing, you may reach one of those points where your supply just won't cut it anymore and you've got to go back to the books on how to increase your supply or thankfully that little voice in your head (or your extremely smart sister) told you not to throw out that super expensive dairy-free formula...because there is no reasoning with a hungry baby.
Speaking of supply, you find there are 2 types of vocal nursing moms...those who have an under supply and those who have an over supply. Although I'm sure both are equally frustrating, I'm on the under-supply side....so when you complain to me about having too much milk...I secretly hate you. Although whenever this topic comes up in conversation I can't help but envision us standing on opposite sides of a little stone wall, one side the Yooks and one side the Zooks arguing about which side of the bread should be buttered (if you're not familiar with Dr. Suess's "The Butter Battle Book" you should because I've been revisiting all my favorite childhood books now that I'm a mother).
Nursing is such a love/hate in general. Sometimes I love the time I have with my daughter, others I just want to throw in the towel. I'm not afraid to say that often what keeps me going is the simple fact that I'm incredibly cheap and do not want to pay for formula. Give me the "bad mom" award but yes, I'm making my decisions on my daughter's nutrition based on being cheap.
There were a couple things I was extra excited about when it came to not being pregnant....not worrying about what medicine I was taking, and eating sushi. Well, here's the truth. When you're nursing, you still have to watch what medicine you take because lots of it can either go into your milk and then to baby (such as Tylenol which is funny since that's all you were allowed to have as a pregnant person) or everyone swears it will dry your milk up like a desert.
And don't get me started on sushi. Want to know how much sushi I've had in the last 3 months? NONE. You know why? Well because in order to have sushi, I have to go to a restaurant and who wants to take a baby to a sushi restaurant? No one!! Because if you sit and think, "where is the last place I would expect to find a baby?" the answer will be a sushi restaurant. Speaking of, if you think you're going to have a nice dinner out with your husband sans baby....just TRY to not talk about poop while you're eating. Seriously, I dare you.
Remember when you were in your third trimester and you were looking forward to the day you could bend down to shave your legs and paint your toe nails? Well just because you can now doesn't mean you're going to. The one perk of post-pregnancy is your body is back to it's normal hair growth rate...which means you can take a little joy in the fact you are not required to shave your armpits every day like you did while pregnant. I think God wanted to throw a little something our way with that one, because he knew I wasn't going to be shaving them daily anyway.
You learn a new way of talking to your spouse postpartum. You're so lacking sleep that you start to think your baby can actually understand you. It goes a little like this "I think it's your dad's turn to change your diaper, right Lorelai?" or "Lorelai, wouldn't you love it if your dad held you for a while so mom can go shower"? or "Let's tell mom about how you didn't nap all day while she was at work" You can go an entire day not saying a single thing directly to your spouse.
It's not uncommon for me to simply pick up my daughter and tell her all about how she ruined my body. So long as I get over it before she is old enough to understand, I feel like it's the least she can do is sit there and listen to me. I still have piles of shoes that will probably never fit again thanks to her. When people ask me "can you even remember life without her?" I still want to say.."Ummm yes, I had these great boots that fit like a glove, that I can no longer get my giant feet into. Yeah, life was pretty great, thanks for the reminder"
Oh, and sometimes if I'm coughing, laughing, or on occasion just sitting...I pee a little. Yeah, have fun with that one too.
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