Real Life Maternity Leave

During my maternity leave, I kept notes on things I wanted to go back and tell my 40 week pregnant self in preparation for leave...since I don't have a time machine (speaking of...I started watching "Timeless" while on leave...one of the many shows) I thought I'd share these. If you've been through it you can think back and laugh, if you haven't just remember you're not alone when you go through some of these things on maternity leave.

I'll be honest, I thought maternity leave would be a lot of relaxing, outings with Lorelai to the zoo or visiting family in Lincoln, and in reality it was a lot of sitting around in my P.J's with either a crying or feeding baby on my lap. 

Every attempt at going out or trying something new is terrifying, but once you do it once it becomes so much easier. In the past 8 weeks we went from sleeping in the recliner holding her at night...to sleeping in the guest room next to hers...to finally back in our own bed with the monitor and leaving her in her room downstairs. I was so afraid that first week that I'd be living in that recliner at night even when I went back to work...it happened gradually, but I had to try some new things I wasn't comfortable with. The same with our first outing out of the house (the doctor 5 minutes away from the house), first trip an hour away, first road trip to another state...its really hard to do it..but the more I pushed myself the easier everything else became. 

Truth, once Lorelai puked in my hair and it took me over 24 hours for "shower" to move to the top of my to-do list. Going to the store for groceries beat shower during that 24 hours.

I went from not being able to do anything else while nursing, to letting her nurse while I packed for our trip, ate breakfast, edited photos on the computer...it takes time. So don't be discouraged at the beginning that you feel you are nursing a baby 24 hours a day and not able to do anything else. 

The first month is really just a lot of sleeping where you can. We realized that at about 5 weeks she was finally getting into a schedule enough that we started trying to schedule her awake and asleep time even more by 6 weeks...the schedule helped us. At 6.5 weeks we no longer needed a nap just to survive, we were both getting about 8 hours of sleep at night. Although she wasn't sleeping through the night, she was sleeping long enough we could get our needed sleep pretty easily in 2 blocks of sleep (I realize not every baby is like this, but we did work a bit to get her on a schedule). 

The house becomes an absolute mess...no matter how much you try to keep it clean. Be okay with it, you'll be able to pick it up later on. 

At almost 7 weeks I made my first latte at home. That may not sound like an accomplishment...but here is what that means. I had enough downtime to feel it was worth the effort to make a latte instead of auto drip coffee...when all my other free time was spent trying to pickup the house or catch up on other things that I'd let slide (showers...) 

I realize there are some miracle women out there who fit back into their pre-preggo clothes at 3 weeks postpartum. For me, a huge priority at 3 weeks was going to the mall and buying just a few things that actually fit me. I'm dealing with a pretty serious post-pregnant body right now, where I'm no where close to my old clothes but pretty far from my pregnant self. I hated buying what I call my "fat clothes" but my sister reminded me that I'll use them for a while since nursing moms should aim to only lose a 1lb. a week to keep up their supply, she also reminded me if we have more kids (big IF) I would probably use them again.  Truth be told at the end of my 8 week leave I still have about half of my pregnancy weight to lose.

If you've never slept in a bra before...you probably will now that you're nursing.


Some things may not go back. Even though I weigh much less than I did during pregnancy, I still cannot get my engagement ring even close to fitting. If you had swelling like me, you can try to shove that thing on as many times as you want in those first 8 weeks...but it may not fit. 

Having help those first few weeks or month is huge. I lucked out with a husband who was able to stay with me the whole time, as well as a sister and mom who hung out a lot. My in laws were in town during week 2, and visiting them for a week during week 5 was great to allow us to catch up on some needed sleep. If there are people around who can help, us them. I'm a very autonomous person but I've quickly learned to ask for help. 

Don't feel bad if you look forward to going back to work a little bit. And don't feel bad when people say things like "can you even imagine life without her!?!" and in your head you are screaming "Umm...YES...and it was wonderful!" (even though you feel obligated to smile and say something akin to "Oh no, life with her is just amazing")

It is totally okay to completely have no idea what day of the week it is...

Once you're able to get out and about, you will absolutely love running errands during the weekday. Stores are so much less crowded, streets are empty...it is amazing.

It's still hard to believe my maternity leave is officially over. I've been back to work almost 3 full days now...and although it was wonderful...I'm glad a few of those hardest first weeks are over!